A Blessingway

What it is: A few close friends and family gathered to celebrate a woman's journey into motherhood, a few hours of shared stories, poems, scriptures and rituals meant to help suffuse the mom-to-be with their support, confidence and love, a time to be reflective about the labor and delivery process as well as to calm a mother's fears.

What it is not: A "shower" where the emphasis is on gifts for the mom-to-be and baby, a time for silly and embarrassing baby games, a large gathering of close and not-so close friends and family, typically thrown for first-time moms.

My two aunts, Chrissie and Karen, were the magical hostesses of this event last weekend. They knew I really didn't want a traditional shower again--both because I have all the baby paraphernalia I could ever need and because this time I am facing a more intense labor and delivery experience as I attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and was hoping for a more meaningful gathering of friends and family. We did our research together and found the idea of a blessingway fit our goals best.

Chrissie hosted the day at her house and 9 of us made a circle of friendship on her living room floor. We began by each lighting a candle and invoking the names of our maternal ancestors as far back as we could remember, to remind us all that birth has been happening for aeons and we are part of a very long lineage of strong women giving birth to their babies.

Then, we each read a poem, quote or passage that held some significance or spoke to some aspect of motherhood, sisterhood or birth which we felt compelled to bring. The very wise words I heard in that room transcended our varied personal backgrounds and ages and they each impacted me in unexpected ways. I have kept those papers and will bind them to bring with me to the hospital for inspiration! 

Next, Chrissie did a lovely job of selecting stones for my labor bracelet, wrapping them in tissue with an inspirational word on each one which was then used by everyone present to "bless" me with. I love that the package of stones I chose was labeled "HOPE", perfect for a gift to myself in this sometimes scary, uncontrollable and mysterious process of birth. We strung the stones together on some silk and tied it off to make a bracelet, another item I am packing in my hospital bag!

And to top it all off, we ended with food and cake and a little belly painting! The girls were more artistic than I could have imagined and my belly looked so beautiful after I didn't want to have to wash it off.

I am so thankful to my aunts for creating this special day for me and to my friends for joining us and bringing their heartfelt words of wisdom and support. I know I will need it all in the upcoming days and during those trying times of labor and I feel so blessed to have such an empowering group of women around me. Thank you all!